Probably the single most culturally visible seasons for self reflection (specifically examining the ways we don’t hit the mark) is probably the Christian penitential season of Lent. Unfortunately Lent has also become synonymous with self-denial and restriction. It would be almost impossible to separate Lent from the diet culture manifestation of fasting that is currently the most popular form of observation of that season: restricting or cutting out certain foods from one’s diet.
And that’s a tragedy because the season itself, and self-reflection and change are opportunities for healthy growth. And yet the whole thing has become synonymous with disordered eating. Whether you are preparing for Lent or if you are entering another season of self-reflection this article suggests some ways to engage in healthy ways that are neither spiritual bypassing (using spirituality to avoid unpleasant parts of life) or rooted in unhealthy relations with our body.
Lent Traditions: Fasting & More
Lent’s focus is (according to the liturgies that begin it) a on discipline, self-reflection, moderation, and charity. Lent (and self-reflection practices in general) addresses something we’re not good at admitting: that we are flawed and that we have harmed others (intentionally or not). If we are to grow more spiritually mature (more mature in all ways) we must spend at least some time facing our own demons and reckoning with them.
This season of Lent provided a time in which converts to the faith were prepared for Holy Baptism. It was also a time when those who, because of notorious sins, had been separated from the body of the faithful were reconciled by penitence and forgiveness, and restored to the fellowship of the Church. Thereby, the whole congregation was put in mind of the message of pardon and absolution set forth in the Gospel of our Savior, and of the need which all Christians continually have to renew their repentance and faith.
I invite you, therefore, in the name of the Church, to the observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting, and self-denial; and by reading and meditating on God’s holy Word.
Book of Common Prayer, 264
Sadly, the purpose of Lent has been twisted by popular culture, the 40 day fast has been flattened into simple self denial that leads nowhere, and that isn’t helpful to anyone. Fasting just for the purpose of fasting, just because it makes you feel bad is self indulgent. It strokes your ego. Restriction just for the sake of restriction doesn’t make us better people, and it is horribly damaging for those suffering from eating disorders.
Transformation Not Punishment
Actual transformation has nothing to do with self flagellation and punishment. Here’s the thing. If you fast just because it denies you something you have gotten all you will get out of that fast. You remained focused on yourself, either to make yourself feel worse, or to have an excuse to feel as if you’ve done something.
But growth and transformation requires us to both observe ourselves, and move us outside ourselves as we seek to heal our relationships. (To ourselves, to each other, to the more-than-human world). In my tradition God’s agenda is not all that concerned about us as individuals behaving perfectly (we’re human after all) and is chiefly concerned with the oppressed, the stranger, the poor, the weak being cared for.
Why we do things matters. It matters because it changes out insides. And that internal change matters because it changes how we relate to those around us. We are not encouraged to become more compassionate to feel compassionate, but to act with compassion. Naming the ways we have harmed others without actively seeking to change the way we behave to not repeat such harm is in the end empty navel gazing.
Sin is a churchy word for the things we do, or don’t do, that break our relationship with (or cause harm to) other human beings and the Divine.
This isn’t the place for a deep dive into what actually constitutes repentance or how repentance is intimately tied to change, the short of it is this. To repent is to turn around, it is to realize we have been on the wrong track and to actively change our behavior. While suffering may often be involved in such a life change (change is uncomfortable) it isn’t required. You don’t have to punish yourself. In fact, punishment is cheap and easy. We suffer, we tick some box, and we continue on as we always have.
Transformation, change, and growth is the harder road.
Practices for Change
The first practice listed here is fasting, because fasting has a long history across religious traditions of being used (with care and when appropriate) for transformation. However fasting is not right for all and if you would be harmed by reading about fasting please jump to the next practice here.
Fasting (not for everyone, and not what you think)
Fasting is an ancient spiritual practice found across religions. It is often used as a tool to facilitate transformation. A fast can range from the Muslim practice of Ramadan where the practitioner neither eats nor drinks between sunrise and sunset, to abstaining from one thing only over a longer period.
So long as you do not endanger your health (religious fasting practices include exceptions for those who shouldn’t fast) there isn’t a right or wrong way to fast. There can be right and wrong reasons. Fasting to “punish” your body for its shape would be a wrong reason. In fact, since in doing so you break your own relationship with your body (by doing it harm) one could call such a fast sinful in Christian tradition.
Reasons to Fast
During Lent there are good reasons for choosing a fast. We can fast to practice discipline or moderation, or to be in solidarity with those who are food insecure.
There are a myriad of ways to fast. At it’s most basic to fast is to abstain from something for a set purpose. You can abstain from food, from meat, or from alcohol. For example: one might fast between breakfast and dinner and donate the amount you would have spent on lunch to a non-profit that provides meals to the vulnerable. Your hunger in those days can crystallize for you the way others suffer (if only a little bit). If it moves you to change your actions, and to work toward a community where no one will ever go hungry, your fast has born fruit.
How to fast
There are obviously wide ranges to fasting. From a full 40 day fast, to fasting just one day during each week of Lent, to fasting for a few intentional hours. You should not fast if it will cause you harm. How you chose to fast is up to you, but practices bear the most fruit when they are consistent over a decent period of time. The 40 days of Lent for example, or a month are good choices. Set yourself a goal, perhaps you will abstain from all alcohol for a season. Perhaps you will fast during work hours on Wednesdays and Fridays in Lent. Or perhaps you will chose to eat a vegetarian diet for a set period of time. Whatever you choose be sure to be consistent, and try to find a way to make your practice about more than just your own experience.
If you have never fasted before go slow. Begin by setting small goals for yourself, and remember to focus on staying hydrated. If you have any medical conditions (like diabetes, hypoglycemia, or eating disorders) that might make fasting dangerous consult your doctor (it is always a good idea to consult your doctor!).
Remember: the point of fasting is not to punish your body!
Stay hydrated (please note that in both Jewish and Muslim tradition there are fasts that refrain from both food and water for a period of time and if participating in those fasts you can and should seek the advice of your own spiritual leaders and your own body). Listen to your body. Know the difference between discomfort (wow I’m hungry!) and danger (something is wrong.) You may find that fasting helps you pay attention to your body more, which is not a bad thing at all.
Also remember that fasting doesn’t have to mean food or drink. To fast is to abstain from something, and there are a lot of things in your life that might be healthy for your to try abstaining from for an extended period of time. Get creative and think outside the box.
Praying the Hours: Reordering a relation with time
There are a lot of people who just shouldn’t perform a traditional fast. And often it isn’t our relationship with food or our body’s comfort that needs reordering anyway. In the modern world our relationship with time is often one of the most broken that we experience. If you are seeking a practice for a season of transformation and growth taking on a practice of set hour prayers offers real possibility to reclaim time from overwork and overwhelm. I have already written extensively about praying the hours and how it can transform your spiritual life. If your relationship with time needs work, or you are seeking to build some consistency into your day I recommend this practice.
Many religions have set prayers for certain times of day for good reason. The practice of regularly stopping to turn our attention to prayer does a myriad of things; it sanctifies the ordinary moments of our day (like waking, eating, or resting), it reminds us of our connection to the Divine on a regular basis, and it interrupts the otherwise tyrannical modern clock. My tradition calls this the “daily office” or “praying the hours,” whatever you call it, the practice resets how we look at our time. It brings us back, predictably, to our relationship with the Divine as our constant (instead of work, the kid’s soccer schedule, or other obligations).
It is a practice I frequently suggest adding in Lent for those looking for a different sort of Lenten experience.
Sabbath: Reordering our relationship with doing
Think of sabbath as a fast from busyness, or from doing to be with abundance. We live in a world that is obsessed with busyness and productivity. We practically worship the stuff. Sabbath flies in the face of all that. Sabbath states emphatically and weekly that we are more than what we produce or consume. Sabbath says that there is more to life than work or doing. It asserts that we are worthy simply because of our being.
Sabbath orients our time in a different way. It arrives the same day every week, ready or not. Sabbath doesn’t care if it’s been an easy week or a hard week, if we have a deadline looming, or if the kids procrastinated their homework again. It sweeps in, and tells us that the thing we are is beloved of God/Divine and worthy of rest and delight.
I have written about my own Sabbath practice, and how it can become part of your life. If the thing you most need to fast from in your life is busyness, or an obsession with work then this one is for you.
The Anti-Fast
For many people giving up something has become such a meaningless gesture or habit that it fails to actually effect any sort of change in their lives. In that case I find that adding a spiritual practice can be just as appropriate a practice for Lent or any other transformational season. While early Christians fasted during their preparation for baptism they also took on added prayer, study, and community practices that were equally important.
There are as many sorts of spiritual practices to choose from as there are people in the world (or it seems like it.) And the key here is really about consistency. Starting a new spiritual practice isn’t easy, sticking with it takes some work, but the results are worth it.
Transformation
You are already beloved just as you are. As I say often: there isn’t anything you can do that will make the Divine love you one bit more, or one bit less. But that doesn’t mean that we perfect just as we are.
We flawed human beings are called into transformation, to spend our lives growing more and more into our humanity. It is a call for growing self awareness, change, and maturity. None of these things will happen over night, none of them are the work of one season and then done.
Transformation changes us, atom by atom, cell by cell, from the inside out. And it is (usually) hard work. But it is worthy work. To grow more mature, to become more self aware, all of it is good for us. Most of us are searching for peace, stability, healthy relationships, joy. But we have been trained to seek them in the instant gratification of the cash register jingle.
None of the things we seek are available for purchase. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t available. Spiritual maturity, transformation, growing up (if you will) are available to all of us. They cost nothing in dollars and cents, but quite a lot in our energy.
Lent isn’t a tourist season, it won’t help much if you drop in for 40 days and then wander off again. A sort of “ticket punch” like at the local coffee shop. But if you are thinking about stepping out on the journey of a lifetime, Lent might just be the perfect time to begin.
