I walk with
Human beings have been gazing into the night sky and wondering for as long as we have been human. And for at least as long we have known that it is important to have company on any journey into the unknown. The spiritual life is that journey into great mystery, and it continues our whole lives. Which is why, for generations, spiritual companions (also called spiritual directors/spiritual guides) have been so valued.
Most of us might picture a saffron-robed monk, or a hermit in her cave when we think of a spiritual companion. The truth is far less exotic (but much more accessible.) One of my spiritual directors was my parish priest. Another was a wise older woman who baked amazing cakes each time I visited. And who can forget the sarcastic monk who swore he only took holy orders because otherwise: "I'd never pray."
As a spiritual companion (or director) I endeavor to act as a mirror for you, helping you hear and see the truth already present within you. There isn't just one path, and you are the cartographer for your spiritual landscape. I am your companion, not your tour guide or train conductor.
I bring the whole of myself and my experiences to that relationship, but I am not a guru, I am not there to tell you what to believe or to judge you, your journey, or your questions. My own spiritual background is mostly rooted in liberal Christianity, but I have also sat at the feet of Buddhist teachers, studied with Jewish friends and colleagues, and found some of my greatest connection to God in the natural world.
Before I studied religion I was a software engineer, immersed in the world of progress and technology and the culture that goes with it. I bring all these things and more to the companionship I offer.
Specialization
I work with people of many spiritual traditions and welcome you regardless of your background. I do, however, specialize in working with those who are renegotiating their relationship with Christianity. It is important to remember that Spiritual Direction is not about making you fit in any particular box, including Christian orthodoxy (right belief). Spiritual direction is about walking with you as you chart your own journey to your soul's home, wherever and whatever that looks like.
I especially work with those who...
- have left Christianity entirely but still feel the tug of the Divine and are working out what that means for them.
- are deconstructing and want to do so with awareness for their own privilege and care to deconstruct without doing more harm to marginalized religious groups.
- have left behind evangelical, fundamentalist, and other high demand Christian traditions (including Mormonism) and are trying to discern if they can find a home in a more progressive tradition or if leaving Christianity is right for them.
- are questioning what they grew up with and finding new answers to old questions.
- have changed denomination and are finding their feet.
- are considering converting to Christianity, or have converted and are figuring out what practice looks like for them!
- are clergy seeking to build a balanced healthy spiritual life in the midst of the Church that they love and struggle with.
- are in discernment for ordination and full of questions, hopes, and excitement.
- are full of questions, wonder, or are moving from one phase of life to another and feeling the need for deepening and change.
- have experienced trauma at the hands of the Church...
- and many more.
what to expect
You can expect silence. A spiritual companion's job is to listen to, support, and encourage you. Which means you will usually be doing most of the talking. This is your life, and your story to tell. An experienced companion will be wise enough to know when to be silent and give you space. It is OK to let the silence grow if that is what you need, speak when you are ready.
You can expect to occasionally be uncomfortable. Growth isn't easy. Spiritual companioning (or direction) is often compared to midwifery and birth, we all know that birth isn't easy. Bringing forth new life is a struggle, but the end result is worth it.
You can expect to get to know yourself. And you will discover things about both yourself and the Divine (Mystery, G*d, the Universe) that are just as surprising. No matter how well you think you know yourself, your faith, or God; there are always surprises.
You can expect to experience the immense freedom (and responsibility) in being in charge of your own spiritual life. For many of us who were raised in Christianity, the freedom of being in charge of your own journey can be shocking, liberating, and intimidating at the same time. I will not tell you what to do. My purpose is to support your journey, but only you can embark on that adventure, and you are the only one who knows where you will go.
You can expect spiritual companioning meetings to last about an hour. Most people meet with me monthly, but your circumstances might call for a more (or less frequent) meeting schedule. Some of the people I companion have met with me for years, some come for a few months at a time and take long breaks.
what is companioning for...
Spiritual companioning is for you if you...
- want to refresh your spiritual practices, or explore new ones
- find your beliefs are changing
- are deconstructing from an abusive or authoritarian religious group
- weren't exposed to spirituality or religion as a child and are curious
- have left behind you religious tradition but want to maintain a relationship with the Divine (whatever that means to you)
- are struggling with ethical questions around work, and personal choices in a chaotic and changing world
- are looking to deepen your religious or spiritual practices
- are preparing to convent to a new religious tradition and want support
- and so much more...
journey together...
Please note that my spiritual direction practice is full.
another way: group spiritual direction
There are times you want to experience spiritual companioning in community. There are a variety of ways to do this. If you have a group (3 or more) who want to meet together for spiritual direction, drop me a link and we can talk over options. I also offer group spiritual direction groups on a regular basis. New groups generally start twice a year. No matter how the group is formed, group spiritual direction involves everyone in the group sharing honestly, listening to others’ sacred stories, and honoring paths that may be quite different from your own. It can be a deeply moving experience. If you would like to explore either of these kinds of groups send me a message below to talk about your group or join the waiting list for new groups.
spiritual direction frequently asked questions...
I actively affirm the beloved nature of all people, especially LGBTQIA+. Queer people, and queer relationships are just as sacred as heterosexual relationships and are celebrated here.
I am a white woman, born and raised in the stew of American racism. I actively work to be aware of my bias and privilege, and to use my privilege to build a more just and equitable society. I also know that I still have a lot to learn and that there is no end to this journey for me or other white folks. The sacred nature of Black people, indigenous peoples, and other people of color has been too long denied. As one small form of reparations my sliding scale suggestion for BIPOC folk starts at $45 (vs $85 for others).
Most people meet with their spiritual director/companion once a month. Occasionally someone might meet with me more often for a short season, or might meet more infrequently. But for most people a rhythm of monthly meetings is best.
I work on a sliding scale. Which means that you are encouraged to pay what you can. The suggested amount for a session is $100. Some pay less, a few people pay more. If the suggested amount offered through the public scheduling page would be a hardship please let me know and I can offer you other options! My goal is to make spiritual direction available to everyone.
I am comfortable working with a wide variety of traditions because you, not me, are the expert in your spiritual and religious life. My job is to be a mirror and a listening ear to help you hear and see your own truth better. My personal tradition is progressive Christianity (I do not proselytize or think Christianity is the only way, it is simply my way). I have been trained in an inter-religious spiritual direction program with a wide variety of religious traditions (or no tradition) among my instructors and fellow students.
Yes! Our conversations will be strictly confidential.
If you and I are connected on social media you can expect that I will interact with you less there to protect your privacy and I will not disclose that you are seeing me for spiritual direction (you are welcome to disclose, but the choice is yours).
Know that there are ethical limits on confidentiality: I will always report child or elder abuse, and I will not withhold information that could cause harm (confession of a planned violent crime, etc).
Spiritual direction is focused on your relationship with the Divine (whatever that means to you, from God, the Universe, to your Highest Self). As such we will probably spend our time talking about your experience of the Divine (or lack of), your spiritual practices, your spiritual community, your spiritual or religious life as a child, how to integrate your spiritual practices into your daily life, etc.
A spiritual director is not qualified to diagnose you with mental health issues, or to treat them. Though you are welcome to talk about how any mental health struggles are impacting your spiritual life, or connection with the Divine. Since I am not a therapist, I will refer you to a therapist (If you suspect therapy is what you need, in Washington state I recommend the Rev. Danae Ashley, LMFT of Soul Spa Seattle) if our conversation indicates that this would be helpful.